In keeping with the status quo...

I'm moving again. Not one to disappoint or mislead, I figured it wouldn't be fair to claim being "trapped in transition" if I wasn't actually transitioning at all. So it's time to make a dash across state lines again! In case the police have been monitoring my blog, I have only be "temporarily residing" (read: couch surfing) in NH - my permanent address has been in MA all along, I swear! But now I'm moving my actual belongings to an actual apartment that's actually in a suburb of Boston. Woohoo! I'm back in town, watch out!

Speaking of transition, I could really use a new job. My primary job (the 40-hr/week one) is definitely wearing on me. I think my second job ruined it. I'll explain: my second job is as a personal trainer at a private gym. I get paid several dollars more an hour than my first job; I am constantly busy (in a good way); and it is self-directed, i.e., I get to make up my client's workout programs, not implement someone else's. So it makes my crappy paying, bed-making, lots-of-down-time, do-what-everyone-else-tells-me first job kind of shitty. It's really hard to have complete control at one job and absolutely no control at the other.

The obvious solution would be to personal train full-time, but there are way too many risks inherent in that choice - not a steady schedule, an unreliable paycheck, and the insurance benefits suck. Ok, then what? Find another Aide position somewhere else that at least pays me more? Probably not gonna happen. Get a completely new job doing something else entirely? So many risks... My hospital gives me the hours I want (for the most part), has a great staff, is in a good location, has decent benefits, and is understanding about vacations and my eventual return to school. But the pay sucks. Sucks! And there is no chance to do anything different, be promoted, or "move up." I'm really tired of being everyone's bitch.

Rock and a hard place.

I feel like I'm there a lot these days (between a rock and a hard place). Do I camp out in my car/shell out $$$ for a hotel room on Memorial Day Weekend on the Cape, or do I throw in the towel on that and go hiking in VT with my buddy? Do I continue on this narrow-minded and difficult path to getting into the Doctorate of Physical Therapy program when I'm not sure PT will be my actual career, or do I go for a Masters in Clinical Exercise Science somewhere and get certifications out the wazoo in the hopes of joining a research facility or an up-and-coming institute? Do I go out after the Red Sox game tonight, or do I go to bed early? Do I go running or take a nap? There are a lot of factors that need to be considered!

In the end, maybe there is no "right" choice, just the ability to make the best out of whatever path I choose... but I'm scared to death that while maybe the "right" choice doesn't exist, the "wrong" one certainly does and I want to avoid that at all costs.

Anyway, enough about my life dilemmas. I DO have some fun stuff going on, like a few Sox games this week, moving soon, and the warmer weather moving in that means I can get out mountain biking again. I am enjoying life and having fun, but I just wish I could get to that place where I could RELAX for a bit - where there weren't any huge life-changing decisions to make, there weren't so much work to be done. But then, who knows, I'd probably be bored.

Keepin' on keepin' on...