City of Blinding Lights

A friend of mine has had a rough night tonight, and I have been doing my best to cheer her up. I'm not entirely sure it's working. I guess, in the end, it doesn't really matter if I make things better or not, because I have no control over her and her situation, nor can I change the circumstances that caused her unhappiness. I guess the point is that I tried, that I showed her I care.

It's just that, every once in awhile I being to question the futility of my obsession with being optimistic. On the one hand, someone has to be. You could never have a world completely full of negative people (though sometimes it seems like it's already that way). On the other hand, in the grand scheme of things, I'm not even that positive! Especially compared to how I used to be.

It's this constant struggle. If I'm positive, am I being unrealistic? Am I setting myself up for disappointment? Am I just living in a pipe dream if I truly believe in the good in people? If I believe that one person can make a difference?

But then, what am I ashamed of? Even if I fall flat on my face, at least I can say, "I believed." I can say, "I expected the best and I did what I could to get the best. If I didn't get the best, I can only say that it wasn't meant to be." I don't think there is such a big difference between being an optimist and being a realist. Who says reality is so damn depressing, anyway? It is what we make it. And if I choose to make mine as blissful as possible - not by being ignorant, but by taking the good with the bad and expecting, no, MAKING the best out of everything - that doesn't make me stupid, just hopeful. And what's wrong with hope?

It just gets lonely out here sometimes... it'd be nice to have some company here in my little optimistic world.

To my friend who had a tough night tonight (because I know she reads this from time to time since she relates to the "being in transition" theme): it's okay. It may not feel okay, but it is. You know you will find the answers you need sooner or later, and tonight you got some of them - it may not have been what you wanted to hear, but maybe it was what you needed. In the end, you are a great person, and those who matter - including that certain someone, deep down - know this. In the meantime, you have your friends, like me and Moons and many other who care about you and are always here for a hug, some hot chocolate, and some laughs when you need it most.

I'll end with a favorite quote: "Hope is a good thing, maybe the best of things, and no good thing ever dies."